Thursday, March 4, 2010

If Baseball Cards Were Women, This is Where Boners Would Go To Die

So while organizing my cards I cam across 5 cards that i never remember buying - because I never would have (with 1 exception). Here, I bring you the abomination that is 1996 Topps Laser.

I am all for a little die cut action but I don't think these cards could look any worse if they tried.

First up we have Mark Wohlers about to be hit by a baseball asteroid. If you look carefully you will see that not only is the flame die cut, but there are many holes inside the flame as well. I didn't scan the backs, but they do not have a stat listing for the players just a few highlights like "1.37 - ERA in last 57 appearances of 1995". Thrilling.

Next is the only card of the lot that I would have purchased, and the only card I have any intention of keeping - My favorite all time player, Robin Ventura. There is one problem with this card though - it's ugly like Helena Bonham Carter - I know that the mid 90's were a free for all with card design, but you really have to question the decision makers that green lit this product.

Here is John Smoltz and his own asteroid.

Finally, it's hard to make a card set like this boring, but somehow Topps managed to do so with the Ryne Sandberg and Brian McRae.

Anyone out there want any of this shit? I've got 2 of the Ventura card so all is available - just let me know!


Captain Canuck said...

you know where to send the Braves. We do not discriminate on any Brave here. Give us your poor, your tired, your wretchedly ugly....

capewood said...

I love these cards. Not simply die cut but cut by space-age lasers. I'll admit that the red edged ones aren't my favorites. And what's wrong with Helan Bonham Carter?