Blog Bat Around 5 - Drew Barrymore.

My favorite piece of "memorabilia" has nothing to do with baseball - and while its memorable - there isn't anything really too much that makes it special - this is just story of a high school boy meeting the girl of his dreams... and he was too chicken to tell her he's seen her naked.

Lets start over.

Growing up I was in LOVE with Drew Barrymore. In Middle School and High School I always had a thing for girls with short hair. I've discussed Juliana Hatfield here before. There is still a picture of Winona Ryder (Alien Resurrection era) on my base guitar under the strings. But I tell you - the first time I saw a preview for "Boys on the Side" there was no going back. Drew was my girl.

I started watching anything I could with her in it - Hoping for another taste of what happens about a quarter the way into the movie - yes - lift the shirt - jiggle - laugh - leave. less than 10 seconds of film that has taken up at least an hour of my life. I was 15 for Heaven's sake. Anyway - I watched Mad Love, Poison Ivy, Scream, Everybody Says I Love You - If she was in it, I saw it. There were pictures all over my bedroom. I was infatuated to the max.

However, one thing was always missing. Yes, you know what it was - the January 1995 issue of Playboy. I had no connections. I had to be the one kid in high school who did not have access to that kind of stuff. My internetting skills (and connection) were poor at best. Try as hard as I could - I never got a glimpse of the angel in the centerfold (yes I know she isn't actually in the centerfold, but I never miss a chance to reference the J Giles Band).

So, no connections, connection, and no spine to try to find someone to sell it to me, because I was underage, so of course, if I tried to buy it (In my paranoid mind) since I was not 18, I would be arrested, made a laughing stock, and most importantly, disappointed my mother.

Then, just a few weeks after my 18th birthday I happened in an antique store and there it was. A box of old magazines with the bunny on them. I went through what must of been years worth of bunnies until I found my girl. $15 - done deal. I went home and... read the articles.

ahem.

Finally - after all those years, my dream (I didn't aim high those days) had come true. Life was good. I'd actually gotten with a real girl, my punk bands played shows, and I saw Drew Barrymore full on naked. Too sweet.

I'd never had much of a collection of those style books, but this one went with me at every move. So when my folks split and we moved to Vestal, Drew came with me. I went away to college and my first apartment on my own, Drew came with me. I moved to a different apartment, you guessed it - Drew came with me... and me with her (sorry - I need an editor I know).

By this time Drew was a superstar. She was in huge movies and had subsequently married (and divorced) Tom Greene. That gave me hope (never realized). So it comes to be that Drew started dating the drummer from the band the Strokes who happened to be an alum of the school I went to SUNY New Paltz.

I'm hanging out with my girlfriend, the girl I wanted to be my girlfriend, and some dude named Julian when I get a call from Joe Walker.

Joe Walker - "I just saw Drew Barrymore at Bacchus drinking beer"
Me - "wow"

Yeah - that was it. I know. You would think I had more to say, but my mind was racing. My celebrity crush of all crushes was riding through my 3 traffic light (approx) town. And I was stuck with my girlfriend, the girl I wanted to be my girlfriend, some douche - and Drew with her man.

I decide that tonight just isn't the night for dreams to come true. An hour or so go buy and its out to the bars with no real intentions of pursuing Drew. So I walk down my driveway and we go to run into the mobile so the girl I want to be my girlfriend can grab some smokes - and what do I see?

Drew Barrymore and her drummer Beau making out in front of the Mobile station with a six pack of Miller cans in hand.

OH

MY

God.

So many things to say and do run through my head.

1) Punch him and impress her with my strength
2) Start..."reading the articles"
3) Profess my love
and
4) Run my ass back to my apartment, grab the Playboy and a pen and be that guy who asks for an autograph in a wholly inappropriate time.

Take a moment - What do you think I did?

I'll Wait.

Nope - Didn't do any of them. Here is what came of my mouth.

"hey Drew Sorry to interrupt - I've loved your movies and been a fan for a long time. (now to drummer) Your band is pretty good".

That was it. That was my moment with the love of my life. The most typical experience she ever could have had. I guarantee nothing about that moment was even memorable enough to recall 2 minutes later for her. So here I am, with my girlfriend (who I hated... another story, another blog), the girl I wanted to be with, and Julian - who was hitting on the girl I wanted to be with. So I am in this lovers square if you will, frustrating as it is, and I have this chance to have Drew, the holiest of holies (holyies? how does that work - is that like hollies the plant? who knows, maybe spell check will help me out later) , sign my magazine, my most (I know lame) prized possession next to my signed 86 Mets Team ball (I don't remember the story of how I got that - sorry), and just totally blew it.

Where are they now?

Drew - Superstar still - making movies, doing what she does.
Drummer boy - The Strokes recent albums sucked.
Julien - don't know
Other girl - Long Island
Girlfriend - who cares - Trick was crazy
Me - at work - sending dayf an e-mail.

Take it easy.