So Saturday morning I eluded to what my day was going to be like, with the Binghamton Mets bowling tournament and game. It turned out to be quite a fun day.
First me, my wife Sarah, and my buddy Joe went to the game to see the team get shelled - I think the final score was 14-4? It was not good. Nothing really notable, just a bunch of walks and doubles and walks and doubles - no homer with all those runs. Just walks and runs - Minor League Baseball at its worst.
After such a bad loss we (Me and Joey - at this point Sarah had made her way onto other plans) were worried that the guys would not be in a very social mood since they just got their asses handed to them, so we started getting drunk.
Before we even entered the bowling ally I had 3 beers. The pitchers kept coming. (This may be important later).
So we get inside and find that the player that was assigned to our team was Johnathan Malo. We come to find out however that he would not be bowling with us as he hurt his back during the game. This was disappointing, but it was okay, because on the team next to us was the guy we wanted to be with, Josh Thole.
I tell you - It's hard to forget that these are just normal dudes with an entirely different skill set than the rest of us. The like dick and fart jokes... they go to Dillengers and hook up with the same girls as the Binghamton Senators - They live in shitty parts of Johnson City - Just like the rest of us.
Even better than that though is how down to earth these guys - and how much they want this. Before the season started, both players where there for the Red Sox Mets games at Citi field before the season started. Just hearing Malo talk about what it was like to hit against John Papelbon (hard groundout to short) or Josh Thole talk about how Brian Schneider and Ryan Church took him under their wings and really made them feel like part of the team.
There were other stories told that I'm not gonna share today, or maybe ever as maybe its stuff they dont want printed on the Internet, albeit on this little blog.
Mark Kiger (who holds the distinction as the only modern era player to make his MLB debut in the postseason - for the Athletics) who my wife thinks is super dreamy signed a ball for my wife. Short recap of how that went
Me - Mark - Can you sign this ball for my wife - she thinks you are dreamy
Mark - Sure - whats her name?
Me - Sarah
Mark - OK - should I do anything else?
Me - I dunno, draw a heart or a cock or something
Mark - Dont think my wife would like that - I'll do heart
I thought it would have been way funnier with the cock, but I digress.
So now flash forward to the end of the night. This was not planned, but the shirt I had on under my polo shirt was wearing has giant holes (intentional) the size of large melons right where my melons are. so (about 10 - 12 beers in at this point) I figure it would be funny to wear that shirt for the last frame - boy did that make a splash. I had about half the team come shake my hand and pose for pictures with me and my hairy ta-tas. I tell you - it was weird to have players like Adam Bostick come up to you and say "Whats up man. I'm adam and that is fucking awesome!"
So I take all these pictures and then some random ladies ask to have their picture taken with my mammories, you know - for the memories. I say of course, but you have to motorboat me. For those unfamiliar - a motor boat is when you put your face into some breast and go mmm mmm mmm mmm while shaking your head in the "no" manner.
So there are probably pictures of some random birds (approx 5 or 7) either holding my bosom, or shaking their faces in it. It's amazing what people will do for the guy in the weird shirt.
The night ended at the bar Fitzies in Binghamton with my friends band playing a cover set of Green Day Dookie. Really good time, I got to sing Coming Clean (best song on the album) and got to see lots of old friends.
Great day - can't wait to do it again next year - Also cant wait til next time I go to a B Mets game and some player says "Hey - its the titty guy".
1999 Pacific: Two-Thirds Complete!
5 hours ago